I recently returned from a 12-day trip to the Hudson River Valley. Our group visited Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt’s home, the Frederick and Louise Vanderbilt estate, learned about slavery in the area and toured the 18th century Gomez sawmill site. It was an excellent Road Scholar trip, AND, along the way, I sold copies of Walking for our Lives.
While discussing the book with a friend, I randomly opened to page 91 and read, “On Friday, May 30, Congresswoman Pat Shroeder came out to our muddy campsite at 7:30 in the morning to speak to us. Then The Great Peace filed into downtown Denver and brought traffic to a standstill.”
After my most recent writing workshop last weekend, I wanted to share one tip with my readers that we discussed:
It is so important when writing to be specific. Our communication would be so much clearer if we substituted nouns for pronouns.
Rather than saying, “It rained,” how about “Rain poured down out of the sky and splashed the street in front of my house.”
How about instead of saying, “I got in my car and drove away,” you said, “I raced out to my red Ford Escape, climbed in behind the wheel, and tore down Main Street toward my high school. I was late for geometry class.” I’m sure you can find sentences that would be clearer if they were more specific.
How do you include detail in your daily conversations and in your writing?